A Car with an Incurable Disease

I have type 2 diabetes. Fortunately my case is moderately mild. The disease has a tendency to progress so I will be in real trouble in the future and perhaps die from it, or from complications arising from it. I've been told that the disease has been "cured" in pigs. And that lab rats can be given the disease and then "cured". I'm hoping for that cure. Really hoping for that cure.

I've sometimes wondered what it would be like to have conventional medicine work on my car. I would take my car to the Doctor: Hi Doc. Getting the appointment way far ahead and doing all the paperwork and insurance verification to make sure I can afford you wasn't too bad. And the wait was actually tolerable. Your nurse has done everything on my car for you. The symptoms, the vitals, the questionnaire. My car has been weighed. My car's ancestry has been gone over. We've answered the questions about whether any other cars from the same factory have had this malady. Going back to 1920. So now I have this valuable 90 seconds with you while other cars are waiting in the next stalls to see you too. I'm going to get the help my poor car needs. Every time I start it up, It steams and the engine light comes on and it hisses doc.

"LloydLou, your car has a disease. Don't worry, it's fairly common. It's called "overheating". Now that I've done the diagnosis I'll be recommending a specialist for you. I don't actually work with cars that have "overheating". The specialist will help you. He will teach you what you will need to know to take care of your car now that it has this disease. He'll show you how to let the engine cool down. He'll install an expensive instrument called a water temperature gauge that will work in conjunction with your engine light. He'll probably tell you to add water to the radiator every day. Usually it's every time you operate the car. He'll explain that it is better to use a coolant called anti freeze which is more expensive than water. As a matter of fact if you use water, your car will blow up. He will be able to explain why that happens. I have a free sample of anti freeze you may have, It's the kind I recommend. The representative from that anti freeze company was just here yesterday. The specialist will caution you that overheating is a progressive disease. You see, when your car steams and hisses, that's bad. And the more times it does that the more it affects other parts of your car. Parts that you don't understand. The engine, the hoses, the radiator, the water pump, the oil pump etc. But don't worry too much. There are specialists that can help you with these components. Eventually, you will need a new engine, and sadly your car will of course die eventually from this disease. Good luck with the specialist. And remember to take you water temperature every day and add water. Your 90 seconds are up. Stop by the front counter for scheduling and billing. I'll see you in three months."

What a Friend

We had our dog "Jack" put down on Wednesday. He was 12 and his cancer caught up with him. My wife took him in to the vet for a final diagnosis. We both went back to see him and say goodbye. We were there in a room with him and he was awake and responding nicely to us as we pet him and hugged him and talked to him. I never wanted to leave that room. That was a sad day. When we left I told my wife that I was free all day and would hang with her or not as she wished. And that we could go to lunch and "toast" the best friend we had. She wanted to go home and see the rest of her animals and just have a quiet day. So we went home. I was surprised when after she had checked on her animals she asked me if I was still up for going to lunch. I said of course. Another surprise was that she wanted to go to Milford. A town an hour away by the seashore that we had never been to. We had a lovely drive on back roads. A lovely meal in a quaint neighborhood. A lovely drive home. Our three remaining dogs have acted quite differently since Jack has been gone. They know he's not coming back. My dog "Jake" usually hangs out where I am. But now he's staying even closer to me. The other two dogs are being very quiet. The morning after Jack died was tough for my wife. That's when it really hit her that he was gone. We have a very old nanny goat with horns. She is not going to be with us much longer. We already have a grave dug for her in the back pasture I have boards over the hole so no one can fall in. I'm sad about Jack. I may be even more sad about BeeBee, our goat, when we finally lose her. I've learned so much about friendship and love from these animals. I didn't even know what friendship was until my dog "Jake" bonded with me. He is with me now as I type. He's old too and within a year or two we'll be putting him down. That will be hard for me to bear. But I won't want him to suffer. All I know is I'm happy to have Jake now. All he ever knows is "now". I asked my wife how is it that I can love a dog so. She said: "They are so loyal. They don't hold a grudge". Bye Jack. We will miss you. LLITTY :::::+:::::

Repent. The End of the World

I'm really interested in the claim that the world will end on May 21, 2011. Eleven days from now. I'm surprised that it has gotten so little press. No one I know is really very interested in it. It's just one more crazy guy and his followers saying the end is near. It's been said for thousands of years and nobody has got it right yet. The big day comes and goes and we all laugh at the fools who believed it. Sometimes the fools kill themselves. We all knew better. The crazy doomsdayers usually follow a charismatic leader. Maybe they drink Kool aid. We all know better. Maybe they wait at a special place to watch the non believers suffer and fall into a lake of fire. They are dumb crackpots. We all know better. Why waste our time listening to their predictions. OK. I get it. You're right. Just a few crazies. When I talk about May 21 I am boring you.

Please let me explain why I think May 21 2011 is interesting. Bear with me. I'm nuts too. But hear me out.

1. The people doing this are not alien worshiping trekies. They are bible believing Christians. They are devout Christians. They are not claiming anything that can not be found in the bible.

2. They are not open to debate on this. No one is allowed to even comment on it, without being told they are associated with the Devil.

3. They believe that the "church age" ended in 1988. Anyone going to church today is worshiping under the Devil.

4. Their leader, Harold Camping, claims no supernatural connection to God. He is not a minister, pastor, or PhD.

Now for my opinion. And why the heck I care about this. I am sick and tired of Christians getting a free pass on their bible. The same bible that Harold Camping has been studying all these years. He and his followers are "crazy" for predicting the end of the world on May 21. But Christians are perfectly sane when they believe that the first human woman was made from a rib of the first man. And that all men are under the curse and wrath of their god and require a "savior" from the very god that created them. And that subjugating women, and slavery, and child killing and honor killing are acceptable. I'm tired of the bad stuff in the bible getting a free pass. Harold Camping's end of the world scenario is just as valid as this other nasty stuff we're to believe in in order to get to heaven, and avoid hell. We are to accept "creation" as an explanation of human existence in the universe. The entire body of knowledge concerning "creation" is two pages in the bible. I'm sick of it being given an equal stance against science. Where the body of knowledge is ever increasing and self correcting. So, if you want to believe that Harold Camping and Family Radio are "insane". I'm with you. And we can all have a nice laugh on May 21st. But we should criticize the "inerrant" bible for all the rest of it's insane stuff while we are at it. It's time for non believers to start putting the whole bible in the face of Christians. The really bad stuff. It just might make them re evaluate their "loving" god of Abraham. The biggest myth in Christianity is that the belief system is "good news". This is why Christians don't want to challenge Mr. Camping. They know he knows much more about their bible than they do. They want to distance themselves from him. But they believe in the same bible he believes in and there is no distance. The same bible that is the only thing they have. It is more and more under computer age scrutiny. And this end of the world stuff comes from people in their own ranks, and they are stuck with the crazy people and they are stuck with the crazy verses. Like 2 Kings 2, 23-24 . It may take 200 years, but it will all come down. Don't be mad at me if you believe. It's just my opinion. I could be wrong. And I firmly believe in Peace on Earth and Good Will toward men. You believers pray for me. You non believers know from whence I come. On May 21st I'll be at the Horn Point fly-in. Weather permitting! And I mean that in the scariest way. LLITTY :::::+:::::

The Martin, Part 2

When days go by and I don't do anything, I guess one of the things I don't do is make my daily journal entry. This is usually just a few basic lines about my mundane retired life. Oh it was really disco when I was a jet pilot! So when I have to bring the journal up to date because it's a week behind, well it's embarrassing for two reasons: one, I can't remember what I did yesterday, let alone 5 or 6 days ago! two, I realize I really haven't done anything...much...at...all.

Once a month or so I get the "muse" instead of the "blues". Or maybe more accurately, I get the muse because of the blues. And what happens is I start out receding into a shell. Hiding in my room...safe within my womb...I touch no one and no one touches me....well actually, I do touch myself. I was in that afterglow of that house concert I told you about and I was trying to suggest a song to Victoria Vox for a cover via a fan letter. It was an old Niel Young song "Lotta Love"....you remember. It was a "one hit wonder" for Nicolette Larson and the album was simply called Nicolette. So I surfed around YouTube and I wrote the fan letter. But in the process I rediscovered a new favorite song that just hit me like a "bolt out of the blues". It wasn't "Lotta Love". It was a Nicolette song called "Last in Love". I went nuts liking the song. When I found her live version of it, recorded at the "Roxy" with this super star keyboard guy, Bill Payne, it was like a religious experience. It was from 1979 and the memories came flooding back. I had two romances going, one in DC which was big. A true love I guess. The other in Detroit which was small. A fling I guess. Both these girls constantly played this Nicolette album, and everybody was playing it. This was exactly the time that I bought the Martin guitar in Ypsilanti. I was beginning my airline career and I was thirty years old. So I'm listening to this Billy Payne version and I'm remembering that Nicolette fell into depression and addiction, as so many did back then and she sang so pretty and I had forgotten all about it and I just started tearing up and I can't explain it.

My brother has a friend who has written a book about Wagner, the Opera guy. The Gist of his book promotes the idea that emotions brought forth in the arts are exactly the same as in religion. The same brain chemicals, hormones, etc. He claims in the book that Wagner is saying this as a main theme through all his works.

So. Okay. I have a new favorite song. "Last in Love". It will be perfect for YouTube. It's unknown and forgotten, yet it's an oldie that some will remember fondly. Perfect right? Wrong. So wrong. After a little research I find out that George Strait, the King of Country, is so all over this song that everybody on YouTube thinks he wrote it. He put it in a movie in 1992. A smarmy redneck superficial sentimental thing called "Pure Country". He had the song on the charts too. So now I sort of don't want to put the song on YouTube. And I did all that work falling in love with the song. If you change the way you think about something....the thing you are thinking about changes. :::::+:::::

That's a cool way to just end this post. But allow me a tiny epilogue. When I listened to the George Strait version on YouTube, I must admit it was very well done. He didn't sell out the song into hee- haw land. It was very nicely sung and the lyrics were exactly like the author wrote them. The author by the way is JD Souther. Remember "You're Only Lonely"?. So at least I have a new favorite song writer. I havn't been writing in the journal every day, but I have been picking up the Martin every day. But it will only play one song. LLITTY :::::+:::::

the Martin Part 1

I think we all need an emotional outlet. A vent. I envy the artist who can paint out his heart on canvas. Or the pianist who can sit and play all night till her blues are used up. I really envy the physically fit people who look forward to their workout. Rowing, a bike ride. They get the physical and the mental release. It's just not simple for me. I don't know what is going to give me the release. Sometimes I just luck out and there it is. But I don't have a "go to" thing. If my "go to" thing was something like golf, or flying a single-seat sailplane, I don't think it would work forever because those things might not be a true release. They are maybe just playing at something I like. If I had a little motor boat and took it out every single day, of course I'd get sick of it. I have a little airplane, and I almost never take it out to just fly around. And I surely wouldn't want to fly it every day. The closest that I can maybe come to a "go to" mental release is my guitar. I used to keep it in the man-cave which is an air conditioned little room in our pole shed. But lately it's been sitting in my bedroom so I can just pick it up anytime. My playing doesn't have to be "good". Nobody can hear it, and my wife says it doesn't disturb her. That's all great. But here's the problem. If I am mentally energized enough to pick up the guitar in the first place, I'm probably okay and not desperate for the release it could give. Once you are depressed, well, you don't feel like doing anything. I'm hoping that when I'm down I can just pick up the guitar, or take a walk, even though I don't feel one bit like doing it. Then let the activity take it's course. If you change the way you think about something; the thing that you are thinking about changes.

My old guitar has been pronounced dead a long time ago. And I have ordered a new guitar. It will be built in July. In the mean time, I lowered the tuning on my old one, put on new strings, capoed up to concert and it actually works well enough for me to fool around with. Oddly, when I went to the house concert mentioned in my last post, I at the last minute decided to case up and bring the old guitar along just for the heck of it. And minutes before the guests arrived I set the old Martin out on a stand in the front room just for decoration along side of the baby grand. Well, it turned out that through the evening after the concert, several guests picked up the old thing and played it. These guests were accomplished players. I could have tried to explain about the de-tuning, and the bad "intonation" and the rough "action" that makes it hard to play. But I didn't and the old pros just played it. It was the only guitar there. Even the featured performer played a song with it! This is just such a sweet swan- song for my old Martin D-18. I had bought it used on consignment in a famous little shop in Ypsilanti, Michigan over thirty years ago. When I get my new guitar, the Martin will be retired as a campfire guitar I suppose. But for now and the next three months it's still my "go to". .. LLITTY :::::+:::::