Thursday Blues, Friday Muse

I feel the need to express a few things. It's not really a rant or a vent. I'm hoping that a few sentences will fall together somehow and that may only happen because I'm doing something more than just thinking. I'm trying to tell you what I'm thinking. I'm not a real writer any more than I am a real singer. But I've learned something about being creative. My son helped me remember it. Do you ever find yourself "learning" something that you already knew very well? Here's a good example. Whenever I feel blue, or slightly ill, I always have the mindset that this is the new baseline for the way that I will feel for the rest of my life. I'm a bit extra sad because of this new life I am facing. Then, in a day or so I feel so much better and the bar of the newer baseline is back up. Then I "learn", or actually, "remember", that it's always that way. I don't have to be "extra blue" when I'm blue. The world will continue on without me and do no better or worse. Another thing I have to keep learning over and over again: being grateful. And not taking things for granted. Back to creativity. I don't claim to be an artist. That may be my point here. When you want to create something. Just create it. The way a child would play with a stick or some mud. I have ideas all the time that float around in my head. I never write them down because I don't carry a notebook and I don't really want to write them down. I remember a tiny percentage of them. That's OK. It brings me to my next point. Just because I have a great idea, it doesn't mean I have to write a song about it. Just because I see a beautiful scene on a beautiful lake in Alaska doesn't mean I have to take a picture of it. I'm talking around the edges of "writers block" here and an undefinable thing called the "muse". I can't explain why I get a favorite song from the sixties in my head and it becomes the only song that I think is cool. It becomes the only song I want to play. The "art" of it all is in my mind and my mind alone. I think that is the essence of pure art. I have absolutely no desire to create something that "sells". I think it would be fun if someone liked something I did. That's different because it would be after I did it, or made it. When you do it, you know you are doing it, and it's only for you. I'm not saying it's wrong to make a living creating stuff. Of Course! that's great. I envy people who do that and they are very talented indeed. But those very artists would probably admit that they work and produce not under the "muse" that I was describing above. When they do that, it may be in a different medium. All this is not to be confused with the validation that we all constantly seek. This personal validation goes deep to our psyche. It's all we're after, day in day out. " Look at me. Let me talk. Listen to me. My turn. Look what I did. Look what I have. Agree with me. Love me." In fact when I am in the process of my "art" whatever that may be, personal validation is not what I am looking for. The quest for validation is an endless futile treadmill..... like getting enough money. There is never enough Validation. Like money, it can never satisfy you. Fulfill you. Having said that, I am shallow, and would love to have a published book someday. Or a Youtube video with say a million plays. But the artist needs more than just an idea coupled with the muse. After he has those two things he needs to "do" the project. Yesterday I was telling my son that I just can't seem to write any blog posts. He's going to Hollywood pretty soon. He's writing a screenplay. Everyone in Hollywood has a screenplay. He said: "Well, whenever I can't seem to write, even though I want to write, what I do is just start writing." My son is exactly right about this. This is one of those things that I already knew. And I thank him for teaching/reminding me. LLITTY :::::+:::::